The problem of adding magical things to a non-magical view

In his recent episode, Duncan Barford talks about near-enemies of magick. A near-enemy, he explains, is a Buddhist term for something that may look valuable to practice but really pulls us away from truth. He valuably details three near-enemies to magic: art, psychology, and philosophy.

I’ve noticed in my own practice the tendency to chaos magick things up too much. Of being too nonchalant about magick and overreaching on my skills. To put magical items on a non-magical or atheist mental backdrop and dismissing any effects as not magic. This, obvious now, is magick doing exactly what’s it’s suppose to; it’s behaving exactly correctly. I, on the other hand, am employing the magick incorrectly and inefficiently.

Part of this is part of my ongoing shadow work and self review. It’s better and more effective to give way to a magical backdrop, that reality is magical, and allowing my own deficiencies to show; accept my emotions and project my will. I’ve tended to want to shut down around people. To hide completely, no emotions and no will. There are obvious issues with this and am actively working on standing up for myself. To stand up for the authenticity of my own experience.

Sober notes

It’s taken me two and a half years off alcohol and a month and a half off nicotine to come to terms with the fact that I don’t have to replace addiction with another lesser addiction. Carrying forward in subtlety, I don’t have to replace craving with anything. I can let it be what it is. I’m still working on this but worrying over drinking too much decaf coffee- it isn’t really an addiction. It’s something I like. And at the same time let cravings be cravings. These are subtle, mind you. Feeling the need to fill yourself with sense cravings perhaps is a part of life, pointed out by the Buddha, but for me, a Sagittarius, I’ve been especially sensitive to this. In full admission, I have struggled, greatly, for many years.

In hope and light, I have also almost as long practiced magick. Concurrently I dove head first into the Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel. I began this process, which MY ANGEL helped and carried along, a couple years after beginning magick. My addiction would not be over if I didn’t have this process in my life. For that I am ever-thankful for my angel.

Pragmatic Dharma / Chaos Magick note: Sense experiences comprise perception of self and reality. A question I asked myself, how can I exist, move forward in the world without sense desires? I’ve been scared to adopt a new addiction. To blend metaphysics (I’m a chaos magician, sue me), addiction falls into the 5th Circuit of the ‘8 Circuit Model’ while accepting sense desires as a normal part of life falls into the bottom four and, again blending, perhaps the nature of Fire or with Spirit moving between the corners of the Pentagram, depending how you want to look at it, make up Life. Perhaps defining addiction to myself would be of dire helpfulness. The use of dangerous substances or compulsive habits to mask the existence and acceptance, meditationally, of craving. Addiction is the inability to “Name and Tame” craving. Again, dropping above or below an abyss, craving is a natural part of life but when we don’t crave things that are in accordance of our True Will we can begin the use substances/weird habits (no offense) as dark offerings, in a sense, to craving. How does a normal healthy person deal with this? Going about daily life normally with no addictive uses. I’m scared of developing addictive uses. This is good, to fear this, you should MF’r. Drinking decaf coffee and reading too many comic books isn’t an addictive personality trait. Buying a vape because you think you can handle it, is. And if you do that I will rip you a new one.

My brain, people: round of applause lul.

But those things may take you off your concentration game. Pragmatic Dharma, “Out!” *mic drop*

Just be yourself

I’ve had a little trouble recently being myself. I worry about people finding out I’m more of a leftist than I let on, I worry about people finding out I’m a dastardly occultist – simultaneously worrying I’m not an occultist because I don’t do enough magic, I worry about my business, social status, and family suffering because of either of these left leaning tendencies, political and spiritual. I really enjoy the friends and connections I have online, though small in number, I genuinely care about the few people who follow me. Most of us have had some connection of the years and have come up with me on my spiritual search. I do want to be more public with my beliefs but feel that my concerns are warranted. I don’t live in San Francisco where I can just do whatever I want. Part of me wishes I could just be myself.

Perhaps my worries are just worries and my friends have my back no matter what. I know you do but I’m not scared of losing your friendship. I’m scared of losing my business and messing up my family’s lives because of something I believe… because of who I am. Does this last part beg me saying the question, what if I’m just a failure? I don’t believe this in the slightest but what if I can’t hold my spiritual or political beliefs and still be the same person. Who do I think people think I am? What if they thought I was more free-spirited than I am? There’s no harm in that. Why don’t I write what I want to write? Why don’t I just be myself?

How does this look in everyday life? I’m not linking my personal stuff to this anyway. Do I want to go on massive FB political rants? Doubt anyone would care. Participate in more spiritual group stuff? I’ve wanted to do this anyway. I’m afraid. I guess that’s all there is to it. Good ol’ fear. Pray for me or spell for me to overcome this fear. That I may leverage my beliefs and my personal life to mutual benefit.

I want to emote without being judged as having that intellectual position. I hate Republicans isn’t the same thing as I hate every person registered Republican. Does the internet even know this distinction anymore? I need to be careful I express this. Not to say stupid stuff but to emote. There’s a discernable difference methinks.

That’s it for now. Holler if you’ve ever had trouble expressing yourself. Happy to hear from you. Trying to be genuine here. Be well.

Not much to life – Flat – Insight Stage?

There’s really not much to life. Why not get messed up all the time?

Responsibilities. They don’t present the same way in consciousness but they’re there.

The thought, “there’s really not much to life” probably is in regard to a specific part of the brain, let’s say.

The flatness of consciousness matched up with excitement and joy. Of course they don’t compare. One releases endorphins et al and one is an insight.

Other reasons:

Doing good for people is nice.

I can release a fuck-ton of endorphins on call and become a superhero.

I’m also probably in some sort of dark night/insight stage. I’m tired. I’m sad. My wife made me mad/sad this morning.

I’ll wait it out and see if it goes away.

A policy of Universal Love?

The problem with Universal Love as I’ve experienced it is that it’s not a paradigm, it’s an esoteric experience or meditational insight regarding the nature of being. If Christians and in general conservative white people were to experience this, as I believe Christ instructed, they would lose the sense of tribalism that clings and creates issues (starkly understated) like dog mess in the crevices of one’s shoe. Yet belonging to groups is massively important to identity (“tribalism” then a derogatory term). How do ‘liberals’ get around this? Many don’t, “locked into” social views just like anyone else but their views are more open. (If I’m cynical I’d say 98% of humanity will never open their mind in any sense – choosing to wait until death when, through faith, they hope it will. If I’m honest, for them, I hope it does.) But when you’re locked in to one side you have to *side* which causes the *slide* into extremism. You can see this on both sides. I’m not immune and I have preferences politically (in general I’m naïve but willing to learn – which isn’t a political position, so I’ll say, in general, I’m conservative but I’m pretty moderate and apt to swing the moderation from left to right). If that statement makes you ‘reee’ let me say I am firmly anti-racist and have been my entire life as far as I can tell. I perhaps may write something insensitive but it’s not my intention – it’s impossible to not piss off “sliden” liberals or conservatives. As much as I avoid extremes on both sides (again, this is a fundamentally philosophical issue of being embedded in beliefs. Embedded meaning unexamined ‘whys’, why you’re like this. I’m fundamentally against embeddedness (again, in this meaning). But that’s a personal proclivity not a political statement. And if that somehow makes me a racist your mental gymnastics are better than mine.

After coffee, the sun rising, and some work, I want to state that moderates are not immune from embeddedness and this was not my intention in that statement. I find being politically moderate gives me the leeway to navigate life while researching the political topics I’m interested in. I don’t particularly mind who the president is, etc. I do stand against racism but that issue isn’t owned by either side. The popular dialogue is one thing, I’ll give you that, and I won’t say more.

Chaos Magic 3.0

For me, chaos magic has become about living a spiritual life in the most technically correct and badass empowering ways possible. For me this often translates to meditation and reading fiction. This doesn’t really seem like a lot on paper but as I often say if you want the dharma combat hit me with it.

Magic is a spiritual process. It’s not for changing reality.

Sometimes. Depends what you believe about it and this is what I believe. It is of note that I said ‘dharma combat’ and not ‘magical combat’. I’m always ready for the first and the second is trepidatious. Point taken. I’m not as well versed in spellwork as I am insight, which is developed in meditation and self-inquiry. Magic, the practice of charms and spells, in this regard requires one to be a hardnosed son-of-a-bitch. A quality I haven’t been that interested in developing until recently.

Addiction strips away ones will systematically until you are nothing but the substances and their use- the experience of addictive craving. I hope no one has to experience this (but of course millions will). That said, addiction varies by degrees, and willpower isn’t everything. Yet, the degree to which I’ve mastered my mind under these conditions is really impressive. I will turn the credit to my friends over at the old Baptists Head blog, my Holy Guardian Angel, karma, and being a hardnosed son-of-a-bitch.


Magic tips: general thoughts, personal notes, and practical scaffolding

Life doesn’t always have to be about magic.
It’s scary to think I believe this.
It’s not that I believe this; magic touches all thoughts, all experiences.
Each moment a potential for magic.

Magic is seeing congruencies in the world
Congruency is parallel, not identical

Magic isn’t done after you experience a moment
Mindfulness is better after you experience a moment

Magic is a better way to deal with the physical realm
Mindfulness is a better way to deal with the experiential realm

Magic has it’s own toolkit like mindfulness has it’s own toolkit

I may not be the best at mindfulness but I have a general scaffolding I can rattle off

Magic, I’m a bit confused at the moment – there’s too much information
I’m not in a place to process it
I don’t understand it
Or I didn’t and don’t yet

Magic is congruency
It is not for congruency

There’s just so much stuff with magic
How do you organize it all?

I was thinking through some stuff here in the intro.

Liber Null does a good job (available in pdf online)
Maybe not explaining everything about magic or the style may not be there but the scaffolding is gold
Breakdown on the sections from the book:

Beginning Magic
1. Meditation: concentration leading to trance
2. Magical Consciousness: synchronicity (section on metamorphosis starts brilliantly!)
3. Ritual: banishing, divination, sigils
4. Dreaming: dream journal leading to lucidity

Intermediate Magic
Augoeidies, Invocation, Evocation, Gnosis, Divination, Enchantment, Liberation – fantastic scaffolding!

Advanced Magic
The last sections of the book are UTTER. SHIT.

Also, practically speaking, Jason Miller and Gordon White agree that meditation give the most Return on Investment (ROI), followed by energy work and then offerings. GW also lists raising energy for ritual/offerings (as different than say tai chi or chakra work). Same-same to me as far as scaffolding is concerned.

So here, practice everyday: meditation, energy work of some kind, and offerings to someone/thing – this is a good scaffolding. A little dry without more spiritual context to go into it. Both also say divination is overrated. Intermediate level.

But before that if you meditate and then work on single pointedness and trance, if you work on magical consciousness and seeing parallels, practice banishing and divination and sigils using trance while magical consciousness is ‘on’. Perhaps make a ring that turns M.C. on when “activated”. Beginner level.

The dreamworld adds another dimension of personal psychology, messages from spirits etc, and for lucidity and ritual etc. that is often ignored. I am not skilled in dreaming, or in ritual. But I’d like to learn rituals, with people too. Should/could practice trance and slipping into M.C. then with simple sigils, divination. I should also practice banishing more and get better at ritual. Pent, hex, etc. It’s energetic but it’s also astral and spiritual.

A note on Liberation (from Liber Null). Essentially, this is lewd or otherwise dirty or “bad” behavior. Totally skippable but can be useful to bring you out of your everyday normal consciousness, specifically, your everyday normal patterns of behavior, thoughts, beliefs, preferences, etc. It shocks you into lucidity (not dreamworld).

Invocation could be considered or should be considered to be used only with high up, very holy entities or one’s HGA only (if that’s your thing), depending how deep you go. Invo/Evo works on a sliding scale and entity work is not an either-or. This is more about setting boundaries and intentions and don’t invite demons inside your body.

Spells, I didn’t mention spells. Enchantment. Decide what you want. Decide something means that (whether it’s a sigil or spell from a book or whatever). Do that thing. Ideally in the ritual space you’ve been using in your beginner level practices. Intermediate level is more about aligning with a God/HGA than just going around getting what you want.

If magic seems like a lot of work, it is.

Practice well!

6 Year Anny

Today I’ve been told by WordPress, is the 6 year anniversary of my blog.

I had a great desire to be a writer when I was younger. I was inspired by Tim Leary, Jason Louv, Joel Biroco, Robert Anton Wilson and others. I’ve written a couple decent things – my Florida Water series on political magical combat turned out to be more relevant than I imagined at the time. I wrote a couple very decent dharma and magical pieces while nursing a swollen ego. I wrote a short meditation book that dearly needs editing and care. Now, I have 200 drafts with no published posts and I drown in the mire of the toxicity of my own personal drama. I used to have budding online friendships and was a member of several great online groups but I feel like I’ve squandered much chance to re-engage.

I’m two and a half years alcohol-free but I didn’t end the total habit energy of using at that time. I kept my mind distracted but still functioned on a day-to-day level ok. 2022 has been a turnaround year and I’m making some changes organically whereas in the past I’ve bounced back and forth between extremes. The changes I’m making aim for more directed objective thinking, better mood regulation, connecting with other weirdos, and of course more magic & meditation fun.

I’ll be updating my socials here in a few days and hope to continue to post.