XCIII

I normally feel pretty weird when I’m on my alternative social media. I don’t have any social imperative to actually tell the truth. Not that I would lie, I wouldn’t, but when you can be anybody who do you decide to be? Most people, non judgmentally here – simply observing, would probably turn to a secret desire or something they’d like to see manifested in the world. Perhaps I’m no different. Seeking to have a magical personality unleashed on the world, scared of the real-life consequences. Practicing an alternative spirituality can be difficult. For many reasons.

Working through these has been a struggle. With no guide and a real life to maintain the crossover is easy to avoid. Most days I do my practice and get on with my life. Really, just like anyone else – who may exercise or read the Bible or bake. It’s a hobby. It’s in addition to life; positive psychology, if you’ve heard of this. But my hobby just stems around the problem of birth and death, as the Zennist’s say. I’m interested in the Occult. Philosophy, magic, meditation, brain change, spirits, energetic practices, sigils, divination. My main physical goal is to get smarter. Which is accomplished through reading – which, I don’t do enough of currently. Not focusedly enough, anyway. Another main physical goal – physical being earthly, measurably, tangibly – is to practice meditation and stretch. I’ve been trying to sit for longer periods. This requires being more comfortable. I’m working on a split! Here’s where the devil offers you his poison. Meditation is not a normal hobby. Meditation is religion. Meditation has terrible spiritual consequences. Meditation changes your worldview. If you’re religious, I wouldn’t meditate. I’m not or wasn’t religious. I’ve now become religious, but that’s only because religion is found in the fabric of the world. In the fabric of reality, of experience. You can’t not have religious experiences. They not be recognized as religious experiences but you have them. If you’re like me religious has probably fucked you up something good. Fuck religion. I can do so much more not using the lens of religion than with it. With it, you load up an entire world viewpoint and who knows what all else that includes personally for that individual and what that means to them and how they’re going to react. It’s a mess. Why would I talk about mysticism -which I’m very much involved in- in religious terms to you? We’re not on the same level. I wouldn’t want you to think you know what I’m talking about because you don’t. I’m not ashamed of this.

Let’s talk about Buddhism. So much simpler but again, who knows what people’s beliefs about Buddhism are. Probably, again, another waste of time. Jumping the gun, as I’m apt to do, when you look at stuff, you notice you’re looking? That’s consciousness. Through the practice of meditation I train my attention to stare at consciousness and not flinch. If you do this long enough…things that have been put to much better religious tests than Jesus’ claims start to happen. This scientifically repeatable experiment produces *a-fuckin’-hem* the same spiritual juice that Jesus had. That’s right folks, Jesus is a science experiment. Or rather, the godfathers and mothers of modern science used to practice occult science. This is where medicine came from, which is essentially the precursor for modern wellbeing. Amongst other related things. I am simply in this long line of people and I am telling you that I have discovered “how to get enlightened”. There’s probably other ways, there’s other people who’ve come to this same conclusion, also in other paradigms. But mine’s occult, magick, Thelema, Chaos Magic, witchcraft, depending on the day and my mood. This “looks like” me practicing Soto Zen Buddhism, sitting 40 minutes on the mat in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening but really I’m practicing science. Occult sciences.

But wait there’s more.

There’s energy, spirits, reading the future, spells, and killing your neighbor who doesn’t cut his grass. There’s danger, fun, excitement, and things that go bump in the night. There a whole mess of related fields to this. Bigfoot. Ghosts. Tarot cards. Energy practices like tai chi. But I don’t feel like getting into it right now. There’s layers of human experience that you haven’t even tapped into yet. Hence, “occult” science, “hidden” science, or esoterics, as I sometimes say.

This sounds like my voice and I’m happy to say I’ve written a post and scared off neighbors and friends but this is who I am. This is what I’ve become these last 15 years. Why I’ve been so quiet on social media and in life. I’ve been busy. I’ve been talking to Angels.

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