Sober notes

It’s taken me two and a half years off alcohol and a month and a half off nicotine to come to terms with the fact that I don’t have to replace addiction with another lesser addiction. Carrying forward in subtlety, I don’t have to replace craving with anything. I can let it be what it is. I’m still working on this but worrying over drinking too much decaf coffee- it isn’t really an addiction. It’s something I like. And at the same time let cravings be cravings. These are subtle, mind you. Feeling the need to fill yourself with sense cravings perhaps is a part of life, pointed out by the Buddha, but for me, a Sagittarius, I’ve been especially sensitive to this. In full admission, I have struggled, greatly, for many years.

In hope and light, I have also almost as long practiced magick. Concurrently I dove head first into the Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel. I began this process, which MY ANGEL helped and carried along, a couple years after beginning magick. My addiction would not be over if I didn’t have this process in my life. For that I am ever-thankful for my angel.

Pragmatic Dharma / Chaos Magick note: Sense experiences comprise perception of self and reality. A question I asked myself, how can I exist, move forward in the world without sense desires? I’ve been scared to adopt a new addiction. To blend metaphysics (I’m a chaos magician, sue me), addiction falls into the 5th Circuit of the ‘8 Circuit Model’ while accepting sense desires as a normal part of life falls into the bottom four and, again blending, perhaps the nature of Fire or with Spirit moving between the corners of the Pentagram, depending how you want to look at it, make up Life. Perhaps defining addiction to myself would be of dire helpfulness. The use of dangerous substances or compulsive habits to mask the existence and acceptance, meditationally, of craving. Addiction is the inability to “Name and Tame” craving. Again, dropping above or below an abyss, craving is a natural part of life but when we don’t crave things that are in accordance of our True Will we can begin the use substances/weird habits (no offense) as dark offerings, in a sense, to craving. How does a normal healthy person deal with this? Going about daily life normally with no addictive uses. I’m scared of developing addictive uses. This is good, to fear this, you should MF’r. Drinking decaf coffee and reading too many comic books isn’t an addictive personality trait. Buying a vape because you think you can handle it, is. And if you do that I will rip you a new one.

My brain, people: round of applause lul.

But those things may take you off your concentration game. Pragmatic Dharma, “Out!” *mic drop*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s