There’s really not much to life. Why not get messed up all the time?

Responsibilities. They don’t present the same way in consciousness but they’re there.

The thought, “there’s really not much to life” probably is in regard to a specific part of the brain, let’s say.

The flatness of consciousness matched up with excitement and joy. Of course they don’t compare. One releases endorphins et al and one is an insight.

Other reasons:

Doing good for people is nice.

I can release a fuck-ton of endorphins on call and become a superhero.

I’m also probably in some sort of dark night/insight stage. I’m tired. I’m sad. My wife made me mad/sad this morning.

I’ll wait it out and see if it goes away.