My name is ‘Hove

What do magicians believe about God?

I assume you mean Jehovah, the God of the Bible. I “believe” in Him, if that’s what you mean. But you also mean, do I follow Him? I live a Christian life in a contemplative style. I believe more in meditation that I do reading the Bible. The contemplative experience of Christ and God is a stronger motivator for me than coming to God by “acting” like Christ. Acting like God gives the wrong impression about humanity and their relationship with the Father (re rampant tribalism within the Christian community). Acting like God doesn’t address the core experience of self, which allows for deep conversion rather than a surface conversion (eg, I quit drugs, I forgave myself, etc etc). That said, surface conversion is an important experience in the life of a Christian, and the one most have probably experienced. In college I wanted a surface conversion. I read, I prayed, I tried to be interested, but it all seemed a little shallow. I gave up on it for the longest time and now I have come back around, but in a contemplative sense. I still haven’t experienced surface conversion and I doubt I ever will (in a typical sense, because I’ve already altered my experience of the sense of self). In meditative traditions, from a post-modern perspective, controlling behavior is a prerequisite for contemplation. If you can’t get yourself to sit still how can you meditate? Behavior is seen as a means to an end rather than the end itself. Similar in a sense I suppose to yoga, in that the asanas are a means to still the body for meditation. But perhaps a trailing edge of my practice is reading the Bible as a means for controlling behavior. I do need a little behavior control, and I bet the Bible can help with that.

One of the things I fear about reading the Bible is losing my sense of autonomy. I have revealed this to be false. Reading the Bible, to me, is about turning one’s heart toward love and compassion rather than blindly obeying some “law”. This is what Jesus died for, no? Then let me follow the example of Christ and be more Christ-like in this regard.

The last bit of my behavior conversion is going to be about my attitudes toward work. I genuinely avoid it because I’m scared of becoming a work drone or something. I don’t want my life to be wrapped up in my work (but it’s okay for me to be physically at work just not actually working??) Wrapping yourself in work is just thinking work thoughts.

I think my first step is going to be to quit vaping. Then I’m going to exercise and eat healthier. This is to gain some mental clarity and physical endurance. This will be my baseline for my contemplative work. This is the tradition of magic.

Now I just have to do it and hold myself accountable.

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