I’ve been out of town without my computer so I’m going to combine the past 10 days into one post.
I’ve been experiencing a lot of difficulties. This seems par for the course this go round with many other participants. But I’ve also had some breakthroughs. My dreams have been particularly relevant and I’ve been able to enjoy interpreting some of them. One even told me directly a change to make at work as to become more successful. I continue to confront things in myself that need to change – and this is very hard for me, as I think it is in general for most people. We want the world to change, not us. But that’s really the way it has to go, and if you think about it is really the easier thing to change. How many plots and schemes go wrong when we could have just said sorry or been more compassionate? Magically, I’m kind of burnt out from altered states. I’m really feeling trying to be more present and when difficulties arise trying to let them wash over me and responding instead of reacting. This is a big thing for me and hopefully is some kind of sign of maturity as being patient isn’t very “magicky”, but is magick all about tricks? I don’t think so. For me, magick has been about a different way to live. Granted, that’s been really freaking hard, but at least I have the opportunity. Especially when you start getting weird results magickally and meditationally experiencing losses of self you can’t really turn back anyway. It’d take a lot of bad drugs to do that and you’d still be ruined. It’s better to just let it all wash over you, the self not touched by experience, serene.
That’s the idea anyway.
I’ve got about a week left and am I more successful at my business? I don’t think so, not yet. But shifts are being made and I’m implementing my dream work and meditation work. I looked back at my record and as soon as I started the challenge it was block, block, block almost everyday. This I suppose is to be expected when making a change, it’s a good sign, and I’m trying to take it positively. Be well.