Dream I was hanging out with an occult author in my childhood neighborhood. This was after in other dreams, all I remember is my aunt made some kind of potatoes and my mom saying that she is a better cook than someone else, dunno who. Also I think I’d got drunk and tried to hide it from my parents. I kept talking to him, back to the author, about I felt like we should be doing something. We were being worthless slackers, losers. Our other friend had gone somewhere and we had been talking, hanging out. We eventually took the golf cart to their house through a short cut. Well to-do, fancy, pinkies out type neighbors had rode by in their golf cart and talked to us. We decided to beat them to their house to check on our friend. I told him I read his article and I asked him if he still did Tai Chi. He said that was a really good question and he recommended it more than sitting. When we got to the friends house he was inside with my mom and my daughter in my room being a good son.
Jumped into astral self and imagined silver around me. Came back to etheric and felt it go up into my head and down my body and limbs. Went back to astral more mindfully this time. Imagery mode. Noticed the silver shield was more confrontational than the black egg I’ll sometimes use. It burns up bad stuff – black shield used to hide. Filled the room with silver. Snapped back into human mode.
15 min conc sit
Posture has much improved. My hips were very flexible today and both legs were pretty much almost all the way on the mat, even my outer leg, the one I’m emphasizing here in telling you this awesomeness. Getting stronger in lower lower inner core. Able to stay on the object well and able to come back when distracted. Mind was clear and didn’t notice dullness, able to tell this on assessing myself after the sit. Felt confident. Did get distracted some and noticed the dual nature of concentration brings distraction. Stay with that object and ferret it out.
The past four days I’ve had a character trait for the day. Monday-Assertiveness, Tuesday, Responsibility, Wed- didn’t do one but from the contents of the day it seems responsibility is a carry over, Thur – Patience & Precision.
9pm 15 min conc sit
Didn’t worry so much about how concentrated I was. Wanted to be in a pleasant state. I wanted to be concentrated but I also wanted to feel good – I’m trying something new, approaching concentration meditation in a new way, feeling pleasant to encourage concentration on it. Reached access concentration and wanted to stay there to give myself experience with it. Didn’t go any higher but I did see how I could go up and saw how it felt.
Quality of my practice: 10 of swords – ruin
Direction quality is headed: 9 of Wands – power
2 options for addressing this: hanged man R or fool – the hanged man is asking me to readdress my practice, the fool is telling me to stay the course.
Depending how you interpret it either could work. Maybe my question wasn’t clear enough. My purpose was to have two options to choose based on the direction the card said my practice is heading. So I suppose I should let it go, the fool. It’s going good places, follow along. No need to reinvent the wheel. Which is sorta what I’ve done in the past.
Insight into concentration meditation: Conc sitting is sitting on one thing. Inherently blissful but you must be silent to see it. One thing.
Read one chapter of White Noise before sleep.