Guy moves into my wife and I’s apartment, which is actually our real-life office. He unpacks everything while I recover from a party earlier and get ready to go back out with friends again. I’m standoffish. He’s talkative and techy. He’s from Michigan. I wanted nothing to do with him right then. I feel like I should invite him or help him out but of course I do not. I’m being a jerk. He is installing a solar panel on the inside of the door for something. He messes it up and gets frustrated, no no no he says to himself. I just watch him do this. I go to the back where my daughter is and eat some of his big cookie he brought and drink his coke, giving some of both to her without asking him. He comes back and sees me. I say nothing. My wife and I talk and I tell her he needs to run the panel outside because it’s not going to fly with that thing inside and blocking the women’s bathroom because we can’t shut the door. I’ll tell him later I guess. My wife has been talking to him and nice like a good neighbor. I’ve been a shithead.
Two currently popular magicians helped me or clean my pool filter with another friend and my Mom at my house. Was going to introduce them to to my Mom when we were done but I woke up.
Silver Sphere Shielding
Imagined the substance quickly moving over my whole body from the inside out. Once it was in place I took time to reify it by looking over it in different ways. Then I decided to increase it outward by one layer of aura, a couple inches or so. This took physical effort felt in my lower back, my weakest point. This was interesting because, in shielding, I was dissolving bad things. After having it stretched out more, continuing with the visualization, I took it one more level. This level got even deeper into my spine musculature. I held it here for a few moments pumping myself up with confidence in my shielding technique.
30 minutes concentration sit
After the lesson I learned about myself yesterday I felt ready to tackle this sit. I learned to trust, yet temper, my intuition. I limited myself in yesterday’s sit because I felt guilty over how my intuition has developed in comparison to the effort I’ve put in. In yesterday morning’s sit I cut myself off from my intuition and started at barebones beginning. I had a terrible sit and a very frustrating day until late in the afternoon when I realized what I had done. This became even more clear to me in the evening when I had time to talk with my wife.
This morning’s sit was a different story. It was very successful. My object was the breath, but to get to the breath you have to go through the body. This is an issue that has been throwing me off lately and making me feel confused and unworthy. Working out issues in the posture is key for a stable sit and is a prerequisite, and also a part of, deepening concentration. My time absolutely flew by. I felt done at a certain point, checked my watch and I only had one minute remaining! In the last five to ten minutes, after I had really dug deep into spinal musculature and massaged out a kink with my breath, my spine was the straightest it’s felt in years. I’m really proud of myself this morning – without gloating! This was a very productive sit, worth all the trouble, and I’m eager to build upon this foundation.
Offering to Persephone
Offering to Persephone of water. I asked her to accept the offering and to use it as she can and will. To guide me to closer contact with her.
My Wolf necklace came in the mail today! Lit candle for Wolf to show me my destiny, my ultimate virtue, what I’ll die for, live for.
Read White Noise before bed.