Dream I was watching a football game with me in it. I make a big hit, recover the ball, and run it back for a touchdown. I run and tell my family to come watch. I rewind it to a little bit before the play. I rewinded it to a baseball game. It’s cool because we’re on the field watching. We’re in the championship game. I’m playing in this game too. I make some stupid, bonehead plays and my team gets down 14-0. We’re staying positive but we are getting killed and it’s over. I just wanted to show them something funny, something I’ve never done before but here I am revealing the worst of me. An interesting thing about the dream is that I was picking at my tooth and I pulled out a popcorn kernel piece and then a sunflower seed shell was lodged between my tooth and gum. Once I pulled it out it felt better and when I woke up this area of my mouth was sore. Also there was a little guy who got up to bat. He was scared, turned the wrong way, the umpire corrected him. He hit it, a soft line drive but got out. We still cheered for him!
Imagined light piercing through me, my house, and my property. Put the word AGLA over the property for protection of it all.
Silver Sphere Shielding
I’ve done this type of technique before but not with very much visualization – something I’m weak at. The silver goo exited my heart chakra and wavily covered my head then made its way under my arms, torso, legs, and finally, feet. It was slow going down my body and finishing with my feet it was at a crawl.
20 min sit. Concentration. I was pleased with my effort in concentrating this morning. I’m trying to get over conceitedness in regards to meditation and kept it real and not preachy or intuitiv-y. I only experienced complete distraction maybe three times. I also felt like my posture, while it had it weak spots, was surprisingly strong in spurts in spite of this. Great sit!
Put a little lemon oil on my St. Lazarus charm for Papa Legba. Hung it up in work-space.
I haven’t had coffee since last Thursday. I don’t miss it and I’ll have a cup again sometime. It’s just not something I miss. Waking up early to meditate and workout is sufficient. I like not depending on it. Compare this to alcohol. I don’t even think about it. I’m trying to transfer this vibe to alcohol. Part of my shadow work is not chasing away these emotions and even welcoming them but just sitting with them, letting them be. Seeing they’re not me. Page of Cups.
Quick offering to Baphomet of candle light and ylang ylang essential oil in the flame.
20 min sit. Started in insight mode. Toward the end switched to concentration mode but didn’t get very far. Dull. My posture isn’t very stable. I think I’m trying to hard. I should start with simple concentration in the morning.
Another offering to Baphomet. Fresh water. Spoke semi formal from the heart asking for help in my challenge. I think he’ll help with some shadow work.
I thought Legba was being quiet today. Turns out he was just waiting, grinning. On the way home today I saw an albino deer in a field, eating grass. Amazing enough but another weird deer thing popped up later at home that got me thinking. After my evening meditation I asked if something was trying to communicate to me let it be known. I semi-tranced out saying to myself, “I an love. I am devotion. I am more than you think I am.” Through a string of connections it turned out to be Persephone. So Legba introduces me to the Goddess of the Underworld. I did say I wanted to ‘come back’ in my dream request a few nights ago. In the myth, Persephone was abducted by Hades, rescued yet tricked into dividing her time between the underworld and the earth. She is also the goddess of vegetation. So that’s sort of like death and rebirth except you don’t die, you just visit the dead. I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything and how it happened. I’ll keep you posted.