Woke from a dreamless sleep at 1am to hear the dog whining. In fact, I don’t know which came first. Legba continuing to mess with me. Stepped outside to let her back in and was greeted by the waning moon, two days past full. I bowed in honor of such a sight, such a beautiful power.
What is the recent meaning of 10 Wheel of Fortune in my life? Does it mean I can basically just overcome stuff? That I choose my own fate? CMG Deck – Page of Cups – seduced by experience, embeddedness, holds his drink (truth) apart from it, knows the difference in real life and experience, objective experience versus subjective experience, and isn’t lulled into false determinations. Immature feminine energy (the lulled aspect of experience), yet I feel a strength in this card depicted in the image. It means I get seduced by (lulled into) experience (cravings) and I have the ability to stand apart from it (objectify cravings).
Test in a classroom for dog training. They learn different techniques. Once home they are a success story. The Rottweiler does a pretty good job staying around, not messing with people, and fetching. He gets rewards of whole chicken (rooster sacred to Legba). They won veggies and dog treats. “He’s pretty much just trying to catch demon butt.” The phrase they used when training to talk about staying around and not running off.
I was driving down the road in the country. My deceased grandma passed me in a green sports car. I said that couldn’t be her unless something weird happened. I followed her as she sped up. She got farther and farther away from me and I struggled to keep her in sight. I was thinking it wasn’t her and all was normal when the car flew to a great height. It took a while for this to register as to what was going on. Then it did some flips and smashed down somewhere. I went to where it landed. I tried to remain inconspicuous but I had to see. Then a beautiful girl in the same car drove by me and into the driveway. I HAD to see her. So I drove in and acted like I was turning around. She was out of the car and across a field with family to my left so I couldn’t see her. I went out of the drive and into the next one over. In this one there was a farm. I got stuck in there with cows. A farmer was talking with a surveying guy and had determined he had to move his horses. I watched as the horses ran from one field to the next, larger field. Some big horses some small. I walked with him to ensure its security. Then we hopped a fence and went to a creek. There were neat things in the creek we wanted to get so we took turns jumping in. Although I didn’t plan for this and it was unorthodox and something felt erotic about it it was cool and refreshing.
My wife, mother and father, and I were at a swim meet. It was a new set up where you sat up high kind of like stadium seating. My oldest son was coming and instead of walking around the pool he dove in and swam across the pool. It was embarrassing. Then soon later right after another group started swimming my other two sons did the same thing. This time I had to get in to help get my youngest out. Now I was really embarrassed and we got a talking to by one of the officials.
My oldest son had a dream of 2 dogs, a good one and a bad one. Then a big dog protected them, with no regard for property damage, from the bad one. We watched dog shows this morning, which was unusual. I skipped my AM meditation, thanks to Legba, though he did show me pragmatic dharma/meditation was Divine, higher, magick. Thanks Legba! He wanted me to leave the coffee out for another day, so I did.
Got good news at the Vitamin Shoppe that the protein and amigo acid blend I am taking are spot on with the most recent scientific studies. I thanked Byrd, my HGA, when I left the shop for such good luck.
CMG deck – what is my relationship with high magick/meditation?
6 of Pentacles – lovers of earth
Queen of swords – mature, feminine energy of swords
7 of Pentacles – chariot of earth
I was very disappointed by this. The cards were new to me except the queen. I was frustrated going into it and I had no idea what it meant. It seemed conflicting and, honestly, didn’t tell me what I was expecting to hear. I was expecting to hear that I was the greatest ever, I suppose. Did I mention I’m working on condescension?
The story of the cards tells this: I got into high magick (K&CHGA), pushed through and invested phenomenon meditationally achieving great results, now it’s become path. Exploring a bit more, maybe I got into it for the wrong reasons but it worked. I’ve identified buddha-nature properly as I can as far as I can tell. And I’m greatly influenced by the results. I guess I don’t really believe I got into high magick for the wrong reasons, that I’m feeling a guilt for my past behavior. High magick to me is about the mind’s relationship to consciousness, reality, identity, and gaining insight into the Source-of-all-things, which is not a thing at all but something much much more… absently ever-present. This is where I live, this is what I love. This is where my magick has taken me. And if I want to keep exploring it I’ll have to clean up my behavior. I’ve made a good start these past two weeks though I’m struggling with concentration meditation, I’m dealing with some shadow work, guilt, worry. In spurts I can just transcend these but I know the issues are there. On the positive side I’ve lost 15 lbs, I’m more energetic and present, consciously kind, and I’m living the path I love consistently. I’m being who I wanted to become. Of course I still have work to do but that’s just the nature of the thing isn’t it.
20 min sit. Did my best to rest in and understand buddha-nature. This is High Magick to me.